Dan Eveland with his spot-on, pop-culture-tastic entry:
Congratulations, Dan! While it was a difficult decision, this line just had all the right stuff. It’s funny, it’s quick, it’s timely, it’s original, and it’s giveable for all sorts of “Cheer up” occasions—from being laid off, to breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, to not getting a job offer, to battling Swine Flu, you name it. Whether you’re a Republican, a Democrat, an Independent, or an Indifferent, this card still works. The bottom line is that a good “Cheer up” card needs to make the recipient chuckle and forget their woes—if only for a split-second—and Dan’s line does just that.
We couldn’t close this contest without giving props to some of our favorite honorable mentions. Some of these lines were oh-so-close to winning, and some were just so awesomely random that they deserved a wider audience. I wish we could afford to give Benjamins to everyone, but instead, you’ll have to settle for a free card from our online store. If your name is on the list below, just email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your mailing address and free card selection. It’s the least we can do.
Honorable Mention “Cheer up” entries:
* Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.
- Fiona Jeffries
*Newborns are supposed to look like that.
- Robert Mahar, Mahar Dry Goods
*Go to the Chinese buffet and order Pepsi.
- Ali McCormack
*McDonald's is always hiring.
- Jessica Morrison
*Or shut up.
- Katy Jamison
*Or I’ll punch you in the nuts.
- Nikki Lott, Badder Homes & Gardens
*There will be other, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
- Jasmine So
*You could be a quadriplegic midget under house arrest for molesting adolescent helper monkeys.
- Michael Grozik
- Robert Kastigar
Honorable Mention “Cheers” entries:
*To what again?
- Rich Garbarino
*Creating a Harmless Environment to Enjoy Responsible Snorkeling.
- Estelle VanderHeide
*Why can’t those goddamn British just say goodbye?
- Erin Rosenberg, Paper & Grace
*Let’s raise our glasses…and lower our standards.
- Kristyn Davidson & Becky Oliver, Olivers Twist
*And thank you for this excuse to get plastered.
- Kristen Gough
*I’ll drink to anything but I’m sure you did something marvelous.
- Liz Macpherson & Ami Murphy, Mac & Murphy
Thanks for playing, everyone! We had a blast!