And the winner is…

First of all, thanks again to everyone who entered our “Finish the Footnote” contest. So many of these lines would make great cards, but in the end, there could only be one winner. And so, without further ado, the lucky winner of $100 and greeting-card immortality is (drum roll, please)…

Dan Eveland with his spot-on, pop-culture-tastic entry:

Congratulations, Dan! While it was a difficult decision, this line just had all the right stuff. It’s funny, it’s quick, it’s timely, it’s original, and it’s giveable for all sorts of “Cheer up” occasions—from being laid off, to breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, to not getting a job offer, to battling Swine Flu, you name it. Whether you’re a Republican, a Democrat, an Independent, or an Indifferent, this card still works. The bottom line is that a good “Cheer up” card needs to make the recipient chuckle and forget their woes—if only for a split-second—and Dan’s line does just that.

We couldn’t close this contest without giving props to some of our favorite honorable mentions. Some of these lines were oh-so-close to winning, and some were just so awesomely random that they deserved a wider audience. I wish we could afford to give Benjamins to everyone, but instead, you’ll have to settle for a free card from our online store. If your name is on the list below, just email us at info@oldtomfoolery.com with your mailing address and free card selection. It’s the least we can do.

Honorable Mention “Cheer up” entries:

Cheer up*
* Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.
  - Fiona Jeffries

Cheer up.*
*Newborns are supposed to look like that.
  - Robert Mahar, Mahar Dry Goods

Cheer up.*
*Go to the Chinese buffet and order Pepsi.
  - Ali McCormack

Cheer Up*
*McDonald's is always hiring.
  - Jessica Morrison

Cheer up*
*Or shut up.
  - Katy Jamison

Cheer up*
*Or I’ll punch you in the nuts.
  - Nikki Lott, Badder Homes & Gardens

Cheer Up*
*There will be other, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
  - Jasmine So

Cheer up.*


*You could be a quadriplegic midget under house arrest for molesting adolescent helper monkeys.
  - Michael Grozik

Cheer up*
*Motherfucker.
  - Robert Kastigar

 
Honorable Mention “Cheers” entries:

Cheers.*
*To what again?
  - Rich Garbarino

Cheers.*
*Creating a Harmless Environment to Enjoy Responsible Snorkeling.
  - Estelle VanderHeide

Cheers*
*Why can’t those goddamn British just say goodbye?
  - Erin Rosenberg, Paper & Grace

Cheers*
*Let’s raise our glasses…and lower our standards.
  - Kristyn Davidson & Becky Oliver, Olivers Twist

Cheers*
*And thank you for this excuse to get plastered.
  - Kristen Gough

Cheers.*
*I’ll drink to anything but I’m sure you did something marvelous.
  - Liz Macpherson & Ami Murphy, Mac & Murphy

Thanks for playing, everyone! We had a blast!