Shannon the Great

Meet Shannon Eveland. Our part-time go-to girl.

You might recognize her torso from this typestache t-shirt photo on our website. In case you were worried she was headless, we figured it was high time we revealed her smiling face for all the world to see.

Shannon is a rare talent. She can stuff cards into sleeves faster than a speeding softball (her favorite sport), even while simultaneously watching reruns of distractingly horrible sitcoms like According to Jim.

But that’s not all. She singlehandedly packs up 99% of the orders we ship from our underground lair, and she does it all with the perfect combination of love and accuracy. Seriously, she’s like a card-packing cyborg, but with emotions and stuff.

(Speaking of emotions, Shannon has a major crush on American Idol winner/George W. Bush’s teenage lookalike, Scotty McCreery. But like the total pro she is, she never lets those gooey emotions affect her machinelike productivity on the job.)

Ms. Eveland is a 2010 graduate of the venerable College of St. Benedict up in Middle-of-Nowhere, Minnesota. She’s been honing her management skills as our Office Manager Extraordinaire since she started working for us last August, and we’re lucky to have her.

We know we can’t possibly keep someone this driven and capable for long without paying her the seven-figure salary she’s worth, but we’re hoping she won’t notice and decides to stay awhile. She’s definitely a keeper.

Thanks for making us look good, Shannon. You’re like family to us.