Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Olympics special report: Stop the ponytail insanity

Is anyone else frightened by the sheer tautness of Olympic gymnasts' ponytails? Check out how this girl's entire face is being yanked back by a vengeful barrette:

And this poor kid's ponytail is pulled so tight, I think her hairline's starting to recede:

As an unofficial sponsor of the 2012 Olympic Games, it is Old Tom Foolery's position that the International Olympic Committee needs to crack down on these senselessly tight ponytails before someone gets hurt. If you agree, sign our IOC petition by leaving your name in the Comments section.

Together, we can save these flexible little heroes from the agony of painful ponies--and, perhaps more importantly, protect the viewing public from being exposed to all those super-stretched-back faces.


Anonymous said...

Here, here - perhaps you can also create IOC petitions on excessive use of glitter eyeshadow and the appropriate placements of the olympic tattoos.

Thank you for your continued vigilence in these very important areas.

Paper & Grace
Jackson, WY

Anonymous said...

Agree! Consider it signed. Although I will not support petitions against glitter. Just sayin.

Molly Frost

Old Tom Foolery said...

Trisha, as greeting card makers, clearly we are uniquely qualified to tackle injustice in the world of sport. We take our responsibility very seriously, and we share your concerns about glittery eyeshadow and questionable placement of Olympic tattoos. We're also not so sure we like how low the Olympic male swimmers wear their Speedos, and would like very much to identify that weird slab of muscle(?) just under the armpits of all the she-male swimmers. Thanks for your signature.

Molly, our aim would never be to ban glitter itself--only its excessive and egregious use in the sporting arena. In other words, you're free to continue attending your weekly David Bowie theme parties. Thanks for your signature.

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